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maybe baby

About a year and a half ago, I began exploring and questioning the fundamental tenants of my Christian faith.  I realized that although I believed in God, the Bible, and especially the redemptive message of Jesus Christ, I failed to make the connections of these beliefs to my everyday existence.  Essentially I was living a moral, safe life.   I tried to love well, but never truly stretched my capacity to love beyond my family, friends, and acquaintances.  My career and life goals were for the most part, centered on Western consumerist ideology and I never thought about the implications of my lifestyle upon the rest of the world . . . until last spring.

The fundamental difference between what I wanted to believe and what I was learning in through this period of exploration was found in the Sermon on the Mount.  I wanted to believe that I was a good Christian person who was an actively engaged member of my society, but realized that the only facet of my life where I was actively engaged in anything was my contribution to the American economy.

As I realized this, and began to understand and believe that God made me for something bigger than my checkbook, I also began to discover that my desire for adoption was bigger than just a nesting instinct.  Through this time, I primarily focused on the passage of Scripture known as the Beatitudes and I began to understand and believe that God was calling me to do something extraordinary.  He was calling me to be a mother, but more than that, He was calling me to be a mother to the motherless. 

Through a series of events, I decided to pursue an international adoption.  I did not have to think very hard about what region of the world I wanted to adopt from.  After a 2001 experience in Southern Africa, and a continued interest in the people from that region of the world, I knew right away that I wanted to adopt from an African country. Ethiopia emerged as the best option both in terms of geography and availability of infants.

There are many reasons that I want to adopt a child.  Some are as simple as having a strong desire to mother and nurture while others are much more complex and involve personal conviction and what I believe is a call from God.  Through this blog I hope to narrate my journey into motherhood.