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roller coasters, guns, & kids

Last week I watched a new tv show and in one of the first scenes a character came to work with a gun. After the gun’s appearance, several characters casually mention that a gun that appears in the first act, always shows up in the third. So, I guess the beginning of the first act is a good place to start this story.  This adoption journey began in May of 2007 with a simple prayer asking God to tell me what my response should be to seeing a video about the child soldiers in Uganda . . . and God said, more clearly than anything in my life, “You will be their mother.”


If you substitute crap for a more  inappropriate word, you might actually get closer to what first when through my head when this happened. And then after that I felt completely insane and started my Jonah moment where I argued with God and his request to use such a vessel as me to do this huge thing. And if I do say so myself, my guns were totally loaded. God, I’m just a graduate student. I only made $12,000 last year and adoptions cost well over $25,000. I don’t have a real job. I’m not even married God, certainly you would never ask me to do such an impossible thing as a single person. And so the wrestling began.  In keeping with my character, I was as stubborn as ever. In keeping with God’s character, He was as persistent as ever. It took several months and a 40-day fast for me to finally realize that no, I wasn’t crazy and yes, God had spoken to me with very specific instructions.  It was during the fast that I began to understand some of what Jesus was communicating to mankind in the Sermon on the Mount. It was also during this time that God communicated with me, as clear as day,

“Do this, and I will take care of you.”

And so it began. In August of 2007, I started to work towards a local adoption, because I figured that I should start in my own backyard . . . but that door was quickly shut by Lee County DHR. Ok, God, I get it, I need to think bigger. And then out of the blue a cousin called and said her friend knew of a sibling group in Atlanta that was looking for a home. Oh cool, I thought. When God closes a door He opens a window right? Yeahhhhh, not so much. After two play dates with the precious children, I was in the process of contacting a lawyer and figuring this whole adoption thing out when the kids were moved into a very different situation and were no longer moving towards adoptability. Well that sucks, I thought. I guess that means I should look even bigger. Maybe internationally?

Little did I know.

I think back on my naivety during this time with a fondness only reserved for oneself during a time of exceptional simplicity, and only available WAY after the fact. With my 20/20 hindsight I can see God moving in my story and the story of my family. He was waiting on the perfect moment. For me to be ready and for the child to be, well, born. He was probably laughing at my do-it-yourselfness just biding His time for His big reveal. That moment when I would FINALLY realize that all this spinning and moving that I do actually doesn’t DO anything, except maybe exhaust me.




And the curtain raises for the third act. Or rather, last Tuesday. When I got to work on said Tuesday, I went through my normal, get coffee, set the mood, check email. I wasn’t expecting what came next.