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time for every season

Most of you know, but for those that don’t, I lost the baby on Wednesday. I’ll keep you posted as things progress, but right now I’m just trying to focus on the present. On being here, r-i-g-h-t n-o-w. And on breathing, and on being loved by the people around me, and on enjoying the beautiful Alabama summer sun.

Yesterday I was talking with my mom, and although I know God is in control of all of this and that his plans are bigger than mine, that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. I’m learning that it’s OK to be sad, OK to cry. There will be a time when I need to move on, but as the bible says, there is a time for everything under the sun. Now is my time to mourn.

In this time, I find great comfort in Ephesians 3:20.

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

I have to believe this, my inner core tells me that it is true. I also have to believe that this time will pass, and that the God that made me, loves me, and has a plan for me. He also has a plan for that sweet baby boy. Although I don’t know what it is, it is far bigger than I can ask or even imagine!