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Wanted: Narrator of Awkward Social Situations

While dining in Chicago my friends and I discovered a new game: narrating the internal dialogue of our restaurant companions at Harry Caray’s:

Scenario 1: Ms. Lonely heart: Gorgeous woman on a date with 2 gay men, one of whom she was oh-so-obviously in love with.  I told my friend Brian I’d give him $20 if he would go up to her and say, “I’m sorry, I am a happily married man, but I just had to tell you that aside from my wife, you are one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have ever seen.”  He didn’t do it. Minus 10 points.

Scenario 2: Tragedy meets Saved by the Bell:  Bored but beautiful woman on an awful blind date with a guy who had Zack Morris hair and was quite proud of himself.  She patiently listened to him talk about himself for over an hour wondering when she might escape the torture.  Near the end we visibly saw her shift gears, give up, and decide, whatever, I’m tired of being alone and at least he’s not bald.  They promptly left 5 minutes after the shift.  Gross.

If push came to shove I think I could legitimately turn this game into a career.