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Tunnel Vision

So I’ve neglected this blog for a few days because I’ve been distracted with life and other writing endeavors.  Namely letter writing.  I’ve found great satisfaction over these last few weeks connecting with friends (new and old) directly.  It’s not that I don’t cherish this platform, but if I’m honest, I enjoy the direct connections so much more than this arena where I write, you read, and that’s it.  It’s fairly easy for me to only show you that which I want you to see.  To let you into my story only as far as I’m comfortable.  To avoid getting messy.  To retain control.

Control, and relinquishing it, has been a big theme of the last year of my life.  With the baby, with my work, with my life. In relationships I’m also constantly asked to relinquish my control.  Sometimes in healthy ways, other times in not so healthy ways.  Wisdom comes when I learn the difference between those two.  Although I’m fairly open on this platform, there are things about myself which I hide, even from those who are most dear to me.  Fears, tears, and the like.  I think a big part of living is to accept our human-ness and actually to work towards becoming more human, because after-all, that is the part of ourselves that is created in God’s image.  We are what He made us to be.  I’ve been re-encouraged this week by going back to the beginning of my story. Remembering the path that God is moving me towards.  The scriptures he used to bring me to where I am today.  Namely, Matthew 5:3-8:

3″You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4″You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5″You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. 6″You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. 7″You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for. 8″You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

I hope that as you and I continue on this journey that our stories will begin to intertwine.  That our tunnel visions of each other begin to expand into more full humans.  To become more real, more personable, more relational.  That we can begin to become more ‘care-full’ towards each other and our respective stories as God leads us to become content with just who we are—no more, no less.